Guide To Sex Toys
The first interaction with sex toys I had was somewhat embarrassing which his why this Guide To Sex Toys is so helpful.
Being young, and a pest, I had stayed up past my bedtime and sat at the kitchen counter, doing absolutely nothing. But still sat content with my bedtime-defying rebellion. I remember my mother, most definitely tired of my shit, resolved to the couch and the oversized plasma TV that sat opposite her in the yellow-walled living room. On that screen, played out the adult adventures of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte, in the hit show Sex and the City.
Most people’s first interactions with toys were somewhat similar
While I didn’t quite understand what that bright pink toy would have done in my childhood, becoming a sex shop employee quickly changed that. And with the aforementioned job, I have thus interacted with countless customers taking their first steps into the expansive world of personal pleasure. In this article, I hope to be the Charon-esque ferryman guiding you over the River Styx that is sex toys. And help you understand where you should start.
**Note** Many sex toys, as represented in the media, are directed more towards women and those with vaginas. In this article, however, I will have something for everyone. Regardless of sexual preference, biology, and experience.
Let’s jump into it!
Part One: Dip a Toe In The Water
First step of buying a sex toy is arguably the most terrifying; walking into a sex shop.
You had always heard stories of sex shops. Dimly lit, oddly damp, small spaces run by the sleaziest of sleazebags. Fortunately, this is pretty far from the truth. Sex shops are often pretty similar to your standard retail shops. Lots of shelves, cleaned vigorously, but two main advantages; the things in store help you orgasm, and NO KIDS. Win win!
When considering buying a sex toy.
Stop by your local sex shop and just have a browse! There’s no pressure to buy something on your first time going on. Get familiar with where things are, the people who work there, and keep an eye out for things that might be fun to take a deeper look at on later visits. People who work in sex shops are people too, so don’t be scared to strike up a conversation with them about their day! Make yourself feel comfortable, and then take the next steps.
Now for the fun bit. Buying a product.
For beginners, a lot of people will look for the cheapest bullet vibrator, and spend as little time in store as possible. More often than not, this leads to a bad first experience with sex toys. And therefore scares people off from discovering a world that has changed countless peoples sex lives.
With first purchases, obviously you won’t be looking to spend more than $100. Most of the time, there will be something just right, at a good price point, that works well, and is inviting enough to maybe take another look at next steps.
These sorts of products include the following.
- Adam & Eve – Blue Diamond.
- Zero Tolerance – Diablo.
- NU Sensuelle Point.
These toys all have a few things in common. Tey’re all <$100, they’re all rechargeable, and they’re all pretty small. Obviously, being cheap is important. But all the brands mentioned are reputable, with consistently impressive toys for their prices.
When it comes to powering your sex toy.
I will personally harp on the fact that rechargeable toys are simply on a different level when it comes to quality. Plus, getting batteries is a pain. As more often than not, they’re the super annoying flimsy watch batteries, that in some cases are more expensive than the toy itself. Now, that list is obviously more vagina-haver focused.
Penis Focused Sex Toys
Here’s a list of toys in a similar price range that can also work as a first step into the sex toy world for those with penises.
- Tenga – AirTech Cups.
- Adam & Eve – Juicy Lucy.
- Fleshlight – Quickshot Pulse.
As with all types of toys, there are the flimsy, and then there are the ones I’ve recommended. These toys remain at a cheap price point (all <$100). But also are a part of the reputable brands that we have come to know and love.
To dip a toe in the water, these toys are the way to go. Low cost, self explanatory, easy to use toys, and chosen just for you. Once you’ve enjoyed your time with these, there is always a next step. For those ready to cross that border, this next part is for you.
Part Two: Waist Deep
Once we have passed that initial fear threshold, the world of personal pleasure through toys really opens up.
Countless brands offer such expansive offers for every person and every interest. In this part, I’ll be doing a bit of a deeper dive into some products, explaining certain things for each dot point I mention. With a step up in quality also comes a step up in price. But I can assure you that the toys about to be mentioned in this list are worth every penny. And don’t worry; we’re not in the realm of $3000 sex machines…. Yet.
For those with vaginas, this first bit is for you
- Adam & Eve – Rechargeable Wand
While the size of this product may seem daunting to some, a wand is a pretty stock standard toy in most people’s arsenal. The Adam & Eve brand offers some great products for very reasonable prices, and this wand is no exception. Its sleek white design, paired with powerful vibrations focused onto the soft silicone head, this toy is the perfect next step for those favouring some external stimulation. Similar to the aforementioned toys, the Adam & Eve wand is completely rechargeable, and while normally this is a good thing, wands are sacrificing power for portability when choosing rechargeability over mains power, but for the still impressive strength of vibrations this wand exhibits, it could not be overlooked, and at such a competitive price point, it’s the perfect step up.
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Evolved – Coming Strong
A simple g-spot vibrator is a must have for those who prefer their stimulation to be internal. Evolved, similar to Adam & Eve, offer high quality products at incredible price points, and while the coming strong is not the only model of G-spot vibes Evolved offer, the quality and price balance could not be overlooked. Made of a soft silicone, the Coming Strong is shaped to stimulate the G-spot. Sporting a simple, unalarming design of just soft silicone, the toy won’t necessarily turn heads in the looks department, but functionality wise, it does exactly what it says.
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Maia – Karin
For those who love the best of both worlds, Sex and the City had the right idea. Rabbit vibrators have everything fun, indulging in both clitoral and G-Spot stimulation, creating a spicy blend that the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices could only dream of. The Karin is a flexible rabbit vibrator, conforming to your body’s natural curves and therefore hitting every point just right. Paired with powerful vibrations from 2 powerful motors, Karin won’t be speaking to the manager; they’ll be speaking directly to your soul. Sleek, soft, and consistent, means that this toy will be your best friend every night, and in a lot of ways, is two vibrators in one, combining into one wonderful toy of happiness and pleasure just waiting to be discovered by you.
For those with penises, you have not been disregarded here.
Here’s a collection of toys that are on another level, that would be a perfect second toy.
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Fleshlight – Turbo Ignition
It’s the remix to ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen. The Turbo line is made to replicate oral sex, however countless reviews on the Fleshlight product page would remind you that supposedly it’s better than the real thing. The evolution of their Turbo Thrust line, the Ignition touts a non-anatomical opening, therefore at first glance, it might not seem too nefarious, but the pleasure would say otherwise. With tiered openings, to replicate the human mouth in a non-biological way puts the Ignition on another level when it comes to personal satisfaction. Fleshlight as a company has the global recognition to remind you that you’re paying for a premium product, but at an incredibly impressive and competitive price point, this toy is nothing to scoff at.
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Tenga – Flip Orb
Tenga, as a brand, is a little on the weird side. With each of their products looking like remote controls for the Death Star’s bay doors, the Flip Orb again is a toy that doesn’t draw too much attention to the visuals, focusing more on impressive construction and pleasure abilities. Ribbed, rippled, and dotted, the Flip Orb isn’t looking to replicate sex; it’s looking to invite you to a whole new world of sexual pleasure. The Flip Orbs pressable pressure points provide peculiar pleasurable places positioned purposefully on the penis for particularly pampering experiences. Similarly, the Flip Orb’s pressable pleasure points allow for levels of suction to be applied to the user, for a toe-curling mind-bending sexual experience. The Flip Orb also touts arguably the easiest cleaning ordeal of masturbators on the market, with the toy being able to open up for a quick rinse with soap and warm water, ready again when you are.
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Hot Octopuss – Pulse
One of the most accommodating companies, providing products for people who experience ED, an oft overlooked community of people, especially when coming to sex toys and experiences. The pulse is one of those products, however, it is pleasurable regardless. Shaped like a taco, your meat rests between two flaps, and the proprietary PulsePlate technology takes charge. Hot Octopuss specialises in “Guybrators”, and while the word might be funny, their products are no joke. The Pulse is just one example of toys that are leading the charge in being more accommodating to those in particular circumstances that are commonly ignored, while also providing incredible sensations to anyone and everyone.
These toys are a safe next step that aren’t too much of a jump from the toys entailed in part one, but also open many doors for you to truly discover what YOU love, and step up to the more premium products shops offer. The next step is a big jump, but with time, you’ll be ready. For those raring to go, these next toys are for you.
Part Three: Shoulder Deep
You’re more in touch with what your body enjoys than you’ve ever been before. The toys you own have been doing the job, but it’s time for a long term pleasure investment. You walk in to the sex shop you’re now familiar with. You stare at the many walls of toys and your mind wanders. You need direction. You remember an article you read many moons ago. If you have a vagina, turn to page 67. If you have a penis, turn to page 73. To investigate the abandoned McLewin house, turn to page 90. If you don’t remember Choose Your Own Adventure books, you’re too young to be reading this article.
Page 67
Welcome to the cream of the crop. The top of the top. In this section, I’ll be recommending products I think are the best of the best; the kind of stuff books (or long-winded articles) are written about.
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Womanizer – Duo
I’ve written now 3 articles that involve the Womanizer Duo top 10 sex toy 2019, and for good reason. This product is changing the lives of people around the world. Combining the ever popular Womanizer Premium and a powerful G-spot toy into one toy, it’s a pairing Mulder and Scully could only dream of. Utilising their AirPleasure technology, the Duo simulates oral sex in ways you could only dream about, mixing suction and faux vibrations in all the best ways. And if that wasn’t enough, the aforementioned g-spot vibrator conforms to your body to stimulate the most sensitive zones on your body at once. If you’re not a fan of one, they’re individually controllable, so every night it feels like a different toy, and with the different present modes and speeds accessed at the press of a button, you’re in for a good time no matter what. The Duo earned the nickname “The Squirting Machine”, and while that may sound daunting to newcomers, this rabbit-but-better-in-every-way vibrator is waiting for you to take it home to discover your pleasure in brand new ways every night.
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We-Vibe – Wand
Don’t get me wrong, from wand to wand, there isn’t much difference. We discovered something that worked in the mid 1900’s and never looked back. And while something almost perfect can only be improved so much, I chose the We-Vibe for a few key reasons. First off, the We-Vibe is completely waterproof. Coated completely in silicone, this toy is made for bath and shower expeditions. Because of this, your showerhead can take a break. Similarly, the We-Vibe features SmartSilent technology, meaning as soon as the wand isn’t touching you, it’s not vibrating. This can help avoid a few possibly embarrassing situations that may arise with roommates or otherwise. Normally, when wands are rechargeable and they don’t run off mains power, they sacrifice significant power for convenience. The We-Vibe seems to ignore this, providing everything from those deep rumbles we have come to love, but also that ever pleasurable stimulating buzz. The last thing that separates the We-Vibe from competitors is it’s compatibility with the We-Connect app, allowing for not only an extra layer of personal control, but also the ability to surrender control to a partner, and make those late night phone calls just a bit more interesting.
Page 73
Prior to these toys, you didn’t know pleasure like this existed.
This is the stuff that you didn’t know needed until you got it, and now there’s no looking back.
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Tenga – Flip Zero Vibrating
Vibe check. Welcome to Tenga, but better in every way. An evolution to the cousin of the aforementioned Flip Orb, the Flip Zero Vibrating combines the unbelievable sensations of previous iterations of Tengas masturbation toys, toe curling suction from the airtight toy construction, and the ever stimulating sensations of powerful vibrations built right into the ridges and ripples of the toys interior. This toy exudes “everything you want” energy, and considering how many bases it covers, it acts like a pleasure multitool for your penis. Doesn’t that sound wild? Similar to previous iterations, the ever present necessity of cleaning prevails, and the ease to clean, rinse, and dry, is still built into the wing-style opening the toy boasts. And with the geography of ripples and ridges being remoulded to respond better to vibrations, this toy will probably need the ease of cleaning more than other toys. The Flip Zero is bound to be your favourite toy, and now it’s just waiting to be picked up.
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Svakom – Alex
The Alex is a sight to behold. The only thing I could compare it to is a Nutri-Bullet. I’ve previously written about the Alex, and only so many words can do it justice. As I stated in an article about long-distance relationships, “The ability to go completely hands-free like an early 2000’s earpiece that every lucrative businessman had is a luxury few have experienced, and luxury it indeed is. The Alex is built with the best of fantasies in mind, with the stroking of the toy matched to an array of in-built sounds of fantasies for your enjoyment…”. The Alex sports a multitude of thrusting speeds, patterns, and compatible sounds that you can enjoy by just plugging in a pair of headphones. There’s no shame in going hands free, and this toy makes it very easy (and very enticing!). If you’re the kind of person that loves being pampered, this toy should be your next pick up.
You stand out the front of the sex shop. You’ve made a commitment to your pleasure. You feel fulfilled.
Part Four: Swimming
The only person that knows your body perfectly is you, and even then, you might not know your body as well as you might want. Through sex toys, personal pleasure, and time spent on yourself, you can be a better you, and some guy on the internet can only give so much input.
My next recommendation: Whatever You Want.
That’s it. You get to choose. Take my advice and indulge yourself as much or as little as you please, as after all, it’s your body you’re learning about.
You’ve done it. You’ve conquered your fears of sex toys and become someone who prides themselves on how well they know their body. That article you read is just noise in the wind now. You’re content. Now go do it for real.