couples play

Sexual Aids for Men (Solo or Couple)

A lot of people feel that sexual aids are restrictive for men, and that everything on the market is geared towards women. This is a wildly inaccurate assumption.  Indeed, even beyond male masturbators there are a wide range of sexual aides for men which focus on anything from the penile region, to anal and prostate play.

Most popular solo toy for men is masturbators

Two brands leading the pack being Tenga and Fleshlight. A masturbator is not just used to ‘get off’ with. They can be used by couples for some non-penetrative sexual activities that may still result in a climax. In particular something like the Fleshlight Ice would work really well for couples. It’s a see-through design which means that both parties can see what’s happening. And a masturbator can certainly be used for sensual, slow stimulation until climax.

Laying back on the bed, relaxing whilst your partner slowly brings you to climax.

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Blog: Men’s Sex Toys in Relationships

This can be especially useful for sexual release, or even sexual intimacy between people with mobility issues. Or people reestablishing their physical relationship but aren’t quite yet to complete physical intimacy just yet.  A masturbator can be used as foreplay, it can be used during sex to mix up the sensation, or the flow, or it can be used as a finisher.

It can also be used in conjunction with bondage and restraints

And the concept of edging which sees a male being brought close to the edge of climax. And backing off the sexual stimulation so that he does not climax. There’s a misconception that a masturbator is pretty much for quickies AKA a ‘Blow ‘n Go’. But there can be a lot of foreplay and slow paced activity using a masturbator on a male.

Masturbators also vary greatly in styles

From a full sized silicone doll, to something the size of a small egg. Indeed, you have something like the Tenga egg which is a great way to bring passion into the relationship in a cute, and fun way. The Tenga egg is a soft shell design used in conjunction with hand jobs for extra stimulation. It is put over the penis, and pulled down in a stroking motion.

Being the same size as a regular egg, means that for shy couples just starting out into being adventurous. That it’s not going to be an intimidating toy to bring out. It’s little wonder that this sexual aide is exceptionally popular among young people, and people new to toys.

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Tenga Egg Varieties

Conversely, there’s more to the male than a penis

That’s where prostate vibrators and toys will come in handy.  A Male G-Spot is his prostate which is a small walnut sized organ inside the anus at roughly the length of a finger. There are many tools used to stimulate this wondrous spot. They will all have a similar property.

A specially designed anal toy with a slight ‘flick’ or curve at the end of the toy.

This flick is what hits the prostate.  With enough stimulation, some men can actually experience a hands free orgasm.  A prostate orgasm or ‘milking’ said to be one of the most intense forms of orgasms a guy can have.

Whilst anal play is not always on the forefront of people’s minds when re-establishing the presence of passion, it is certainly a sexual activity for which couples can explore. And it certainly shouldn’t be discounted so readily. Anal play is becoming an increasing part of heterosexual couple’s sexual repertoire. With a myriad of shapes and sizes for prostate play ranging from beginners to the advanced.

There’s a lot more sex toy companies embracing male pleasure.

A German company Fun Factory has released a pulsating/thrusting dildo named the Fun Factory Zwei which is ideal for prostate stimulation. Mimics the act of penetrative sex. Lelo has released their Loki and Bruno prostate massagers which are incredibly powerful. Both of these leading companies of luxurious sex toys are paving the way to destabilizing the notion that anal play is dirty. Or that anal play indicates homosexuality in a male.

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Blog: G-Spot & Female Ejaculation

Sex Toys for women(Solo or Couple)

Before we move on to women’s toys, I’d like to spend a small amount of time quickly going over clitoral gels.

Clitoral gel

Is to enhance stimulation by increasing blood flow to the clitoral region. It works by creating a warming or cooling tingling effect through a single drop which has been massaged onto the clitoris.  Use of these gels and oils is becoming increasingly popular as people realize that it takes women slightly longer to reach climax than a male.  These gels, can act as a kick start during foreplay. It is especially useful for women who suffer from delayed orgasms as the increased blood flow activates nerve endings. Which increase sensitivity and make the promise of an orgasm to be far more likely.

Just pay attention to the ingredients list of clitoral gels.

  • You want gels such as On for Her which are completely chemical free, and contain no l’arginine. This amino acid can cause thrush outbreaks and alter the delicate balance of the vagina when it comes to vaginal health.
  • Steer clear of any clitoral gel that contains l’arginine and parabens.
  • Oils such as, on for her, use all natural ingredients. Though you will need to find a substitute if you have an allergy to nuts as it does contain almond oil.

We have just established that women will generally take longer to climax than men.

Reports vary. But it is a standard consideration that women will take twice as long as men to orgasm during partnered sexual activity. Interestingly, men and women can generally reach climax in similar times during masturbation.  Reasons for this are widely studied. And take into such considerations as anxiety during sex, pressures of couples, the idea of the orgasm gap. And the complex relationship between the somewhat outdated idea that men are sexual and desire, and women inspire desire.

Regardless of the beliefs that you hold it is clear that women will in most cases experience an orgasm far later than a male during sexual activity. Because of this, reports indicate that only 25% of women will routinely experience an orgasm during intercourse.  As such, sexual aides often come in handy for clarifying that disparity between the levels of orgasms.

Women’s toys will generally come in about three distinct styles, with branches stemming off from that.

1. Clitoral Toys

  • These toys will focus stimulation directly to, or onto, the clitoris.
  • For the most part, clitoral toys will be small bullet shaped toys, designed to be held onto whilst they vibrate.
  • They’re especially useful for foreplay.
  • Are also small enough to be used during sex without impeding or causing too much disruption to the sexual play.
  • Like all women’s toys they can be battery operated, rechargeable or non-vibrating.
  • Clitoral toys are fantastic for foreplay as they will promote blood flow, female ‘erections’, increased sensitivity, and increased levels of desire and passion.
  • They can range in power from standard vibrators to the insane power levels of toys such as the Clitoral Body Massager: Palm Power, or the we-vibe tango. Both of these vibes are exceptionally buzzy and strong and will induce orgasms in most women which can tolerate the intensity.
  • Clitoral toys can be used on partners as well. Men will often enjoy the intense stimulation on the shaft or testicles. And that can also be applied to the external male erogenous zones which include the nipples and the ears.

2. G Spot Toys

G-Spot toys are insertable sexual aides which are designed to reach upwards towards the g-spot and provide direct stimulation. One of the great things about g-vibes is their versatility. Not only can they be used as insertables. But for the most part the majority of g-spot vibrators can be used as small body massagers. As well as providing stimulation to the male erogenous zones in a precise and deliberate manner.

A G-spot is one of the more mysterious parts of the female body and its existence is widely debated.

G-spot stimulation can result in squirting. There are a lot of women which swear by G stimulation as opposed to clitoral stimulation. G Spot, like the prostate, is located a finger length in the vagina and upwards. It can be stimulated with a finger making the ‘come hither’ motion in the vagina. Because a G-spot vibrator is inserted, it is advised that it is used either during arousal. Or at the beginning of arousal so as to make the experience far more pleasurable.

Don’t just jump straight into it as you’ll miss a lot of the interesting and unique sensations that g-spot vibrators provide.

  • Lube it up, and insert gently and slowly with the vibrations on if you’re nervous.
  • You only need to be between 1-3 inches inside the vagina to hit the g-spot, and once you hit it, you’ll certainly know.
  • The G-Spot when stimulated will swell up with blood (like an erection) and become increasingly sensitive.
  • As mentioned, stimulation of the g-spot can result in female ejaculation.  A lot of people become nervous with G-spot stimulation. Because the beginning sensations of ejaculation will feel a lot like one’s bladder needing to be emptied.  This is not the case, and it is important that you just ride the sensation through.

G-Spot toys are fantastic toys for increasing arousal and ensuring that you are in peak arousal.

Whilst you can achieve the necessary angles by yourself. It’ll certainly be a lot more fun and pleasurable having your partner watching you writhe with pleasure as they control the sensation. If you’re a little nervous about toys. Or your partner isn’t quite understanding the task, one of the most intimate things that a couple can do during sexual activity is masturbate in front of each other.

The thing is when it comes to masturbation we have trained our bodies over the years to climax in a certain way. Through masturbation, you have essentially trained your body to respond to certain stimuli to achieve climax.  This is why that a climax during masturbation can not only be achieved at the same time as your partner. But it also occurs much quicker than sexual activity.

3. Rabbits Vibrators

Rabbits do all of the above and more.

They’re a little bulkier than some of the other styles of toys. A lot of people continually and routinely use them for solo play as opposed to foreplay and for sexual activity. Thing is that if a partner finishes a little too quickly for whatever reason, then one can finish with the rabbit.  It will provide penetrative stimulation as well as clitoral stimulation. Most can be quite intense with the idea of dual stimulation.

Rabbits are fantastic tools for foreplay.

If using it for foreplay. Ensure that the clitoris is stimulated with the bunny ears before attempting insertion.  So that the whole process becomes far more relaxed and enjoyable. From there you can provide insertion. If you’re up for it engage in some other form of penetrative sex with your partner after you have reached peak arousal levels.

Rabbit vibrators can be a little more complex than other toys

So when you’re bringing your partner into the bedroom to engage with some play with the rabbit, let them experience the rabbit first. By that we mean to let them grow accustomed to the different stimulation that they can provide. As well as how to use the settings. There’s no point laying there asking for them to turn it faster when they don’t know the controls. And accidentally turn it down which kills your buzz slightly.

Sex Toys for Couples

Whilst all of the toys above can be used in conjunction with someone else, there are some toys which are specially made for partnered stimulation.

Things like the We-vibe which is an insertable and wearable vibe can certainly be used solo. But it is in its own league when it comes to partnered use.  Indeed, any kind of toy which uses a Phone App (We-Vibe does, most other toys are just Remote Control), you know you’re going to be in for a good time.

Remote control vibrators work brilliantly for couples because you never know when the next ‘hit’ is going to come from.  Coming in both male and female versions there is generally an egg which is inserted into the vagina, or ass, and a cock ring which is placed over the penis.  Partner has the remote control and will give them a delightfully passionate buzz whenever their heart desires it. There are a wide variety of remote control toys on the market coming in all sorts of shapes and forms.

Whilst we understand that the above list is short

It’s not meant to be a comprehensive guide to sex toys.

Rather, it’s meant to promote thought, and provide examples of how couples sex toys can be used to promote sexual awakening. Whilst the toys above can certainly be used in a solo fashion, we have taken the partnered approach to using them all. Any sexual aide can be used with another person. They can be a fun way to take the pressure off the performance of sex and ease you back into a more relaxed state.

Sex toys create a new environment, and are perfect for reinvigorating a faltering passionate flame.

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